Sister Table Talk

Pushed into your Purpose was the dynamic message delivered by Ms. Wanda Childs – speaker, author, and founder of Blessed 24:7 during our second annual First Lady Luncheon on Thursday, May 12 at the Oxon Hill Manor Historic Mansion. As she spoke, my eyes welled with tears as I reminisced on my journey from a corporate employee to Chief Empowerment Officer of The SOFEI Group, Inc. In 2001, I was pushed into my purpose when I was laid off while four months pregnant with my first child. I remember going on interviews hiding my pregnancy hoping to land another job; however, this approach became quite stressful because I was trying to secure work based on fear and deceit instead of skills and pride of becoming a new mother. I never understood why motherhood was viewed by some employers as a burden on their bottom-line. This experience is one of the reasons why I decided to heed to the call to build an organization to empower women struggling to reclaim their rightful place in thei...

Contributors! Yes, employers are looking for people to join their business as a contributor, a problem solver, not a leech. Employers are not hiring to simply increase their payroll. They’re more likely hiring to address business needs or challenges. What about you? Are you selling your skills to get a job to pay the bills? Or, are you selling your skills to make a business contribution? If your job search strategy is simply to get a job to pay bills, you need to change your job search approach. Here’s how: Find your niche (everyone is great at something) Change your self- talk ( there aren’t any jobs, nobody’s hiring ) Change your Circle of Influence (surround yourself around problem-solvers) Conduct research to learn about your prospective employer's business trend(s) and industry (e.g., find out how they make money, the dynamics and demographics of their customers) Discover and decide your contributions and benefits you want to make for your prospective employer and create a “...

There are numerous women and girls that empower others to dominate their lives. Teenage girls give up their virginity to boys that don't understand their value or worth – in search of love and affection. Adult women put their dreams and aspirations on a 20-year hold to take care of their family - ending up broke or homeless due to divorce. Or, single mothers that expand their family when a large source of their household income is at the expense of public assistance or a social service agency. The list goes on and on and on..... For years, The SOFEI Group (formerly known as Virtuous Enterprises, Inc.) has provided services to enrich the quality of lives of women and girls. And, during these years, I've discovered programs and services are as effective as the people that want to invest in themselves to change the direction of their lives. Change starts within! This is where the power starts too - within the core of our being. For Women’s History Month , I’m calling women to recl...

CNN and AC360° did a special show on Black or White: Kids on Race . Kids’ views about race were conducted through a doll bias study to determine their racial beliefs, attitudes, and skin tone preferences. This segment brought back memories of the negative biases I experienced growing up as a dark skinned girl in the Washington region – biases I thought were diminished. And, I was shocked to see the percentage of negative connotations (e.g., dumb or mean child) associated with a darker hue and positive connotations (e.g., smart or nice child) associated with lighter skin tones. Every day kids teased me of my blackness and I was confused because I didn’t realize they were teasing me about my skin color. The teases became unbearable; and I would go home and look in the bathroom mirror, pray to God to make me lighter. When I opened my eyes and saw I was still dark, I cried even more and my self-esteem plummeted. My view of myself and skin color had a direct correlation to my fami...

“Who you talking to” was the response of an employee who was requested to remove her large earrings and neon colored nail polish prior to returning to work from her break. Her manager responded with a threat to fire her if she didn’t respect his request and the company's dress code. Fashion is a great way to express our identity, but it should not cause us to lose our job. Here are some suggestions to keep your fashion and your job: Learn and stick to your employer’s dress code - Fashion should coincide with your employer’s business image. If your employer is conservative, then your attire (i.e., hair, nails, and clothes) should follow suit. Don’t let your fashion overshadow your skills – First impression is a lasting impression. What’s the first impression your attire gives? Does it scream at prospective or recurring customers? If so, tone it down. Go Neutral - Trim your nails and wear neutral nail colors. And, limit nail art in a conservative work environment. Save ...

Have you ever spoken to a person that knows everything they don’t want, but can’t articulate what they do want? If we don’t know what we want to do with our lives, others or life circumstances will mold our lives for us. And, the same can apply to our careers. As a result of today's economy, many people are not seeking a career; they’re looking for a JOB - (JUST OVER BROKE). A JOB can help you get by, a career will help you live! Here are a few suggestions to jump start your career. Pray and Ask for Divine Guidance – Everything we do should bring glory and honor to God. And, this also applies to our career choices. God does not want us to work to simply meet our financial needs and wants. Ultimately, our vocation should be our ministry (i.e., what we’ve been gifted to do). Redefine Your Identity – Many people have defined their self-worth based on what they do and not who they really are. Take time to learn your true self and take this authenticity to your new career. S...

Rise up, ye women that are at ease; hear my voice, ye careless daughters; give ear unto my speech. - Isaiah 32:9 Over the past month, Virtuous Enterprises, Inc. (VEINC) has received phone inquiries about our services from women with similar connotations: Nobody told me where to go to get resources to help me Nobody told me where I could get training to get a better job. Nobody will hire me because I don't have the right looks. I can't participate in online training because I'm illiterate and too old. I learn better when someone shows me how to do something instead of me learning on my own. You're the expert, you should be able to tell me the type of job I should look for. I need a job, does your company help people get jobs? Do you see the commonality? These women have placed the responsibility of their lives on the shoulders of others. As a result, VEINC is launching a Rise Up Ye Women Challenge to challenge us to take a stand to hold ourselves accountable for ou...

Thou will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on me. (Isaiah 26:3) One of our clients has been without bipolar medication for months and has missed counseling sessions designed to help stabilize her mind and life because her monthly disability income exceeds her eligibility to receive medical and counseling assistance. Her inability to receive bipolar treatment is an impediment to her health, family, and prospective employers. Several studies show, African-American and Latino women experience a higher rate of depressive symptoms and psychological distress compared to white women due to a convergence of societal, biological, and socioeconomical factors. Some of the risk factors are: stress due to racial discrimination; health problems (e.g., hypertension and cardiovascular disease); educational attainment , single marital status , and being a working mother . Depression screening and prevention programs must take into account these and additional factors in order to be suc...

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee. (Proverbs 23:7 - KJV) Members of VEINC have not read the Health Care Reform Bill ; however, the tone and comments made by Senator Graham has left some of us with the impression that Senator Graham's view of the bill will cost his State (South Carolina) 1 billion dollars to insure low-income Black people. What's your view on Senator Graham's comments and health care reform? Do you believe America needs health care reform? Do you believe health care reform will bankrupt America? Do you believe health care reform only benefits poor people? As far as Senator Graham's concern about tax-payer's dollars being used to pay for this health care reform, who has a job to pay taxes in this Great Recession ?

In 2006, VEINC donated "fully-loaded" Dell computers to eleven single mothers and one single student returning to school to complete their undergraduate or graduate degrees and online certification programs to advance their careers through our Computer Donation Initiative . This initiative was made possible after receiving a Capacity Building grant from the Washington Area Women's Foundation to establish a wireless network to share training resources with staff members, volunteers, and trainees. Recently, VEINC received updates from two donation recipients - Tracy Henry - a medical student in her final year at Georgetown University School of Medicine and Joetta Fluellyn - a single mother on how this initiative helped them achieve their educational goals. Tracy Henry shared: Prior to receiving the donated computer, she had to use computers at the school library which limited her access to computers and online study time. The donated computer allowed her to stu...

What's the big deal about single mothers, I was raised by one and I turned out okay! Were the words of a business leader running for a Prince George's County Council position. There are many successful leaders and great people that were raised by single parents. VEINC is not presenting single mothers as damsels in distress or victims of society. However, due to the increased percentage of households being led by single mothers not only in Prince George's County, Maryland, but within our Nation, it's a big deal when single women-headed households have in some regard become the normal family structure. According to Sociology for Families , single-parent families are normally female-headed and single women typically do not earn the same income as a single man; thus, there is a consequent economic struggle and burden not experienced in a single-father household. Single mothers often must work overtime shifts to compensate for the low salaries, thus taking time away from th...

Job Hunting is a full-time job, and it’s amazing how lackadaisical many individuals approach job search until their bills pill up or state benefits end - creating a ‘reactive’ job search strategy out of anxiety and fear instead of a ‘proactive’ job search strategy out of desire and contribution. Seeking employment out of fear and anxiety will resonate during a job interview of any prospective employer. And, following are some tips to prevent you from landing a career that’s a mismatch to your core values, skills, and abilities. Return to Your First Love If you’re unemployed and your life only consisted of work, maybe your unemployment is a time to re-evaluate your life to determine your true values and passion. We were not created to simply work to pay bills, we were created to utilize our gifts and talents to bring glory and honor to God. Discover your Skills and Aptitude Many people are working in careers that are a total mismatch to their skills and abilities, vocational interest...

“We must act now!” are four words that have gained great momentum to bail out financial institutions (green giants) on the verge of bankruptcy or closure. These words have radically shaken the corporate giants and current administration from a deep sleep because they no longer see green, but red. The words, “We must act now” did not gain its popularity from the failing financial institutions. These words have been quite popular among advocates that have been working to restore the vitality of our debilitating communities due to spiritual, economical, and social woes. For example, We must act now to provide affordable childcare and health care to low-income wage earners We must act now to raise minimum wage to livable earnings to stimulate the economy We must act now to provide paid maternal leave beyond three-months We must act now to provide equal-pay for women and men to create healthy families and communities We must act now to provide protection for victims of domesti...

"Many women are poor because no one wants to help poor black women" was the comment from an attendee of Virtuous Enterprises, Inc. (VEINC), first Sister Table Talk Tour held in Hillcrest Heights, Maryland. Should the plight of poverty among low-income, women heads-of-households in the Washington region be associated with people refusing to help? If this is true, why do people turn their backs on the down-trodden ? If it isn't true, why is poverty a growing trend among women in the Washington region? During the Sister Table Talk forum held at the Spaulding Branch Library in Forestville, Maryland, the attendees concurred that poverty is a combination of mind and being - 'in order to change what one lacks tangibly, one must first change their mind.' The topic reminds me of the story of a lame man who was carried and laid daily at the gate of the temple called Beautiful to ask for alms (i.e., money). When the lame man saw Peter and John (disciples that went to ...

What if a homeless woman could receive ‘free' employment and technology skills training to secure a livable wage career to purchase a home to gain safety and security every time you searched the Internet? Or how about if a percentage of every purchase you made online created pathways to economic independence for low-income, women-headed families that are acutely vulnerable to the cycle of poverty through entrepreneurship training and development? GoodSearch.com - a new Yahoo-powered search engine donates half its advertising revenue (about a penny per search) to the charities its users designate. Use it just as you would any search engine, get quality search results from Yahoo, and watch the donations add up! In addition, GoodShop.com is a new online shopping mall which donates up to 37 percent of each purchase to a nonprofit cause! Hundreds of great stores including Amazon, Target, Gap, Best Buy, eBay, Macy's and Barnes & Noble have teamed up with GoodShop, and every ...

There's a saying, "Life is where you find it, and what you make of it." At 3:00 pm, a local "smoking" gas attendant said, "I sure need a beer" while her work area smelled like a smoke factory. Someone told her, "she was paying for her death as a smoker" and she replied, "I'm going to die from something anyway, so I'm going to die happy!" This is not the first time this statement has been heard, and it's amazing to know the percentage of women that believe adding poison to their bodies is a pathway to happiness. Since many women believe that death is inevitable, many also believe that it's pointless to live a healthy lifestyle. The services and programs of Virtuous Enterprises, Inc. (VEINC) are designed to make positive, long-term impacts in the lives of underserved women and girls to enrich their quality of life. One strategy is "cause-and-effect" - an approach to help clients discover the 'root cause...

Do you have the spirit? Yeah! Yeah! Do you have the spirit? Yeah! Yeah! Well let me see it in your walk... One of my favorite cheers in high school was, Do You Have The Spirit . The cheerleaders really knew how to get the crowd excited and engaged in our school's sporting events, and it seemed like the crowd ignited a new fire in the players to strive harder to win if they were trailing behind. It appears that the Spirit of Giving is more prevalent during the Holiday Season (i.e., Thanksgiving and Christmas) and many nonprofits do a great job raising money during this special time of year. What are their secrets or strategies? Who are their cheerleaders? And, what cheers do they chant to engage donors to give to support their cause(s)? According to the Making Connections: The Nonprofit Sector in Prince George's County report conducted by the Maryland Association of Nonprofits , "80% of the nonprofit sectors with revenue below $25,000 are in Prince George's Count...

The economic instability of low-income families seems to weigh more heavily on the shoulders of women than men in today’s society. And, poverty seems to be the growing trend among low-income, women-headed families due to inequitable access to affordable housing, child and health care, education, and low-wage earnings. Today, a mother of two making $31,000 per year cannot afford to rent an apartment, pay utilities, pay childcare and aftercare, a car note or car insurance. According to the Portrait's Project - a ground breaking report published by the Washington Area Women's Foundation, Prince George's County, Maryland has the highest concentration of low-income women-headed families in the Washington region, and this concentration is rapidly growing. The mother described in the first paragraph is a program participant of Virtuous Enterprises, Inc. METT (Mobile Employment Technology Training Program) - a program that teaches homeless women how to achieve economic independenc...