Sister Table Talk

Emotional Intelligence is linked to an ability to identify, assess, and control emotions. Depending on a woman’s estrogen level or her season of life, controlling her emotions can be a challenge – even in the workplace. Here are some tips to strengthen your intelligence: Get Real With Yourself - Identify and deal with the source of negative emotions because nothing positive derives from them. Suppressing or camouflaging these emotions with shopping, smoking, or eating are temporary coping mechanisms that can lead to other challenges. Know Your Role – Be clear on your purpose for working; the benefits and impact your contributions have on your employer’s bottom-line, and how your role coincides with their mission and core values. Don’t React, Get the Facts – There are many women reacting to events based on their emotions instead of facts. Feelings should never be used as a deciding factor in the workplace because they aren’t tangible and cannot be validated. Define Your Outc...

After spending nine relentless months looking for work at a local one-stop career center, an unemployed single mother regained hope to find employment when she learned how to build a career in customer-service from the results of a complimentary MAPP assessment provided by The SOFEI Group, Inc. Filled with passion to provide great customer-service to her next prospective employer, this single mother landed nine interviews within nine weeks of attending The SOFEI Group's Microsoft Office Specialist certification training program. Her hope was restored and momentum to find employment soared, but something was preventing her from getting hired - her forgiveness for being unemployed! This breakthrough came when a career development facilitator of The SOFEI Group looked her square in the eyes and said, “Your smile isn’t in harmony with the way you really feel about yourself, and maybe this spirit is resonating during your interviews - preventing you from getting hired.” Tears s...

Focus on the person God wants you to be, not the person you used to be. Here’s how: Forgive yourself of your past mistakes and use them as stepping stones to your true identity and potential. ( Isaiah 43:18 ) Feed your inner being with God’s word, positive thoughts, and positive self-talk. ( Philippians 4:8 ) Focus only on your potential and not your limitations. ( Isaiah 43:7 ) Do not measure your life against the accomplishments of others. ( I Samuel 16:7 ) Govern your life according to God’s plan; not opinions. (Jeremiah 29:11-13 )

Discovering and crafting your gift and sharing it passionately with greatness! In our How to Create a Great Career workshop, we teach people how to build great careers from their innate qualities; not from skills they’ve learned to make a living, but from their God-given gifts to make a life. During the workshop, we demonstrate how people like Serena and Venus Williams, Tiger Woods, and Michael Jordan were able to get corporate sponsorships because of their ‘greatness’ in their respective sports, not because they had good marketing skills to promote Nike, Hanes, or Buick. God created us to succeed so others can experience Him through our work. And, He cannot accomplish this through people that know how to wear or drive success; but through people that are willing and spiritually fit to do the work He has called us to do. Success is a divine right. Don’t allow the definitions or opinions of others hold yours hostage.

Working hard but your career is going nowhere fast? Are you unemployed and on the fence to find familiar work to pay bills or need to start new because your old job is obsolete? If you answered yes to either question, you can redirect your efforts and move your career in the right direction. Here’s how: Evaluate the underlying cause of being stuck in your career. Do you believe this is the only work you're qualified to do? Jobs are scarce so you're thankful for what you have and you've decided to stay where you are. You've worked in this field and don't know what else to do. You believe you're too old to start a new career. Get in the driver seat; take your career off ‘auto cruise’ and determine where you want to take it Resolve negative emotions associated with unemployment Assess your skills and determine who can benefit from them. List your contributions and the impacts. Create a career plan (inclusive of a personal mission statement and goals) to ...

Online training is helping millions of people all over the world get their long-awaited undergraduate or graduate degrees, launch and expand businesses, and gain skills to advance their careers. Then there are millions that haven’t taken advantage of this learning trend because of their preference of in-person training – concluding this training method is more legitimate when you can touch and feel your instructor or facilitator than hearing or watching using online media. The SOFEI Group, Inc. has become perplexed of the apprehension towards online learning from people who have never tried it. And, as a training provider, we believe training is as legitimate of the trainees’ learning and development needs. Here’s our take on the benefits of online learning: It’s a cost savings for trainees and the environment (e.g., less paper trail associated with traditional training methods) It’s flexible and great for working parents with children It’s an egalitarian way to acquire skills an...

Tavis Smiley - author, talk and radio host and Dr. Cornel West - author, activist, speaker and Princeton University Professor launched a poverty tour to bring a voice and conscience to the growing trend of American poverty. Their work is commendable; however, isn't it time for communities (especially the Black) to unify resources to become self-sustaining and less reliant on the government for their livelihood? American poverty as defined by the Census Bureau looks rich compared to impoverished countries. Is it shameful for Americans to be classified as poor in a country replete with resources? Absolutely! But when immigrants come to this country with different barriers (language being one of them) and succeed, why can't members of the African American communities do likewise? The current budget cuts aren't pretty, and the cuts are creating deeper wounds. Should the wounded go to the President and Congress, wave bloody bandages to make them stop the bleeding? O...

Pushed into your Purpose was the dynamic message delivered by Ms. Wanda Childs – speaker, author, and founder of Blessed 24:7 during our second annual First Lady Luncheon on Thursday, May 12 at the Oxon Hill Manor Historic Mansion. As she spoke, my eyes welled with tears as I reminisced on my journey from a corporate employee to Chief Empowerment Officer of The SOFEI Group, Inc. In 2001, I was pushed into my purpose when I was laid off while four months pregnant with my first child. I remember going on interviews hiding my pregnancy hoping to land another job; however, this approach became quite stressful because I was trying to secure work based on fear and deceit instead of skills and pride of becoming a new mother. I never understood why motherhood was viewed by some employers as a burden on their bottom-line. This experience is one of the reasons why I decided to heed to the call to build an organization to empower women struggling to reclaim their rightful place in thei...

Contributors! Yes, employers are looking for people to join their business as a contributor, a problem solver, not a leech. Employers are not hiring to simply increase their payroll. They’re more likely hiring to address business needs or challenges. What about you? Are you selling your skills to get a job to pay the bills? Or, are you selling your skills to make a business contribution? If your job search strategy is simply to get a job to pay bills, you need to change your job search approach. Here’s how: Find your niche (everyone is great at something) Change your self- talk ( there aren’t any jobs, nobody’s hiring ) Change your Circle of Influence (surround yourself around problem-solvers) Conduct research to learn about your prospective employer's business trend(s) and industry (e.g., find out how they make money, the dynamics and demographics of their customers) Discover and decide your contributions and benefits you want to make for your prospective employer and create a “...

There are numerous women and girls that empower others to dominate their lives. Teenage girls give up their virginity to boys that don't understand their value or worth – in search of love and affection. Adult women put their dreams and aspirations on a 20-year hold to take care of their family - ending up broke or homeless due to divorce. Or, single mothers that expand their family when a large source of their household income is at the expense of public assistance or a social service agency. The list goes on and on and on..... For years, The SOFEI Group (formerly known as Virtuous Enterprises, Inc.) has provided services to enrich the quality of lives of women and girls. And, during these years, I've discovered programs and services are as effective as the people that want to invest in themselves to change the direction of their lives. Change starts within! This is where the power starts too - within the core of our being. For Women’s History Month , I’m calling women to recl...

CNN and AC360° did a special show on Black or White: Kids on Race . Kids’ views about race were conducted through a doll bias study to determine their racial beliefs, attitudes, and skin tone preferences. This segment brought back memories of the negative biases I experienced growing up as a dark skinned girl in the Washington region – biases I thought were diminished. And, I was shocked to see the percentage of negative connotations (e.g., dumb or mean child) associated with a darker hue and positive connotations (e.g., smart or nice child) associated with lighter skin tones. Every day kids teased me of my blackness and I was confused because I didn’t realize they were teasing me about my skin color. The teases became unbearable; and I would go home and look in the bathroom mirror, pray to God to make me lighter. When I opened my eyes and saw I was still dark, I cried even more and my self-esteem plummeted. My view of myself and skin color had a direct correlation to my fami...

“Who you talking to” was the response of an employee who was requested to remove her large earrings and neon colored nail polish prior to returning to work from her break. Her manager responded with a threat to fire her if she didn’t respect his request and the company's dress code. Fashion is a great way to express our identity, but it should not cause us to lose our job. Here are some suggestions to keep your fashion and your job: Learn and stick to your employer’s dress code - Fashion should coincide with your employer’s business image. If your employer is conservative, then your attire (i.e., hair, nails, and clothes) should follow suit. Don’t let your fashion overshadow your skills – First impression is a lasting impression. What’s the first impression your attire gives? Does it scream at prospective or recurring customers? If so, tone it down. Go Neutral - Trim your nails and wear neutral nail colors. And, limit nail art in a conservative work environment. Save ...

Have you ever spoken to a person that knows everything they don’t want, but can’t articulate what they do want? If we don’t know what we want to do with our lives, others or life circumstances will mold our lives for us. And, the same can apply to our careers. As a result of today's economy, many people are not seeking a career; they’re looking for a JOB - (JUST OVER BROKE). A JOB can help you get by, a career will help you live! Here are a few suggestions to jump start your career. Pray and Ask for Divine Guidance – Everything we do should bring glory and honor to God. And, this also applies to our career choices. God does not want us to work to simply meet our financial needs and wants. Ultimately, our vocation should be our ministry (i.e., what we’ve been gifted to do). Redefine Your Identity – Many people have defined their self-worth based on what they do and not who they really are. Take time to learn your true self and take this authenticity to your new career. S...

Rise up, ye women that are at ease; hear my voice, ye careless daughters; give ear unto my speech. - Isaiah 32:9 Over the past month, Virtuous Enterprises, Inc. (VEINC) has received phone inquiries about our services from women with similar connotations: Nobody told me where to go to get resources to help me Nobody told me where I could get training to get a better job. Nobody will hire me because I don't have the right looks. I can't participate in online training because I'm illiterate and too old. I learn better when someone shows me how to do something instead of me learning on my own. You're the expert, you should be able to tell me the type of job I should look for. I need a job, does your company help people get jobs? Do you see the commonality? These women have placed the responsibility of their lives on the shoulders of others. As a result, VEINC is launching a Rise Up Ye Women Challenge to challenge us to take a stand to hold ourselves accountable for ou...

Thou will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on me. (Isaiah 26:3) One of our clients has been without bipolar medication for months and has missed counseling sessions designed to help stabilize her mind and life because her monthly disability income exceeds her eligibility to receive medical and counseling assistance. Her inability to receive bipolar treatment is an impediment to her health, family, and prospective employers. Several studies show, African-American and Latino women experience a higher rate of depressive symptoms and psychological distress compared to white women due to a convergence of societal, biological, and socioeconomical factors. Some of the risk factors are: stress due to racial discrimination; health problems (e.g., hypertension and cardiovascular disease); educational attainment , single marital status , and being a working mother . Depression screening and prevention programs must take into account these and additional factors in order to be suc...

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee. (Proverbs 23:7 - KJV) Members of VEINC have not read the Health Care Reform Bill ; however, the tone and comments made by Senator Graham has left some of us with the impression that Senator Graham's view of the bill will cost his State (South Carolina) 1 billion dollars to insure low-income Black people. What's your view on Senator Graham's comments and health care reform? Do you believe America needs health care reform? Do you believe health care reform will bankrupt America? Do you believe health care reform only benefits poor people? As far as Senator Graham's concern about tax-payer's dollars being used to pay for this health care reform, who has a job to pay taxes in this Great Recession ?

In 2006, VEINC donated "fully-loaded" Dell computers to eleven single mothers and one single student returning to school to complete their undergraduate or graduate degrees and online certification programs to advance their careers through our Computer Donation Initiative . This initiative was made possible after receiving a Capacity Building grant from the Washington Area Women's Foundation to establish a wireless network to share training resources with staff members, volunteers, and trainees. Recently, VEINC received updates from two donation recipients - Tracy Henry - a medical student in her final year at Georgetown University School of Medicine and Joetta Fluellyn - a single mother on how this initiative helped them achieve their educational goals. Tracy Henry shared: Prior to receiving the donated computer, she had to use computers at the school library which limited her access to computers and online study time. The donated computer allowed her to stu...

What's the big deal about single mothers, I was raised by one and I turned out okay! Were the words of a business leader running for a Prince George's County Council position. There are many successful leaders and great people that were raised by single parents. VEINC is not presenting single mothers as damsels in distress or victims of society. However, due to the increased percentage of households being led by single mothers not only in Prince George's County, Maryland, but within our Nation, it's a big deal when single women-headed households have in some regard become the normal family structure. According to Sociology for Families , single-parent families are normally female-headed and single women typically do not earn the same income as a single man; thus, there is a consequent economic struggle and burden not experienced in a single-father household. Single mothers often must work overtime shifts to compensate for the low salaries, thus taking time away from th...

Job Hunting is a full-time job, and it’s amazing how lackadaisical many individuals approach job search until their bills pill up or state benefits end - creating a ‘reactive’ job search strategy out of anxiety and fear instead of a ‘proactive’ job search strategy out of desire and contribution. Seeking employment out of fear and anxiety will resonate during a job interview of any prospective employer. And, following are some tips to prevent you from landing a career that’s a mismatch to your core values, skills, and abilities. Return to Your First Love If you’re unemployed and your life only consisted of work, maybe your unemployment is a time to re-evaluate your life to determine your true values and passion. We were not created to simply work to pay bills, we were created to utilize our gifts and talents to bring glory and honor to God. Discover your Skills and Aptitude Many people are working in careers that are a total mismatch to their skills and abilities, vocational interest...

“We must act now!” are four words that have gained great momentum to bail out financial institutions (green giants) on the verge of bankruptcy or closure. These words have radically shaken the corporate giants and current administration from a deep sleep because they no longer see green, but red. The words, “We must act now” did not gain its popularity from the failing financial institutions. These words have been quite popular among advocates that have been working to restore the vitality of our debilitating communities due to spiritual, economical, and social woes. For example, We must act now to provide affordable childcare and health care to low-income wage earners We must act now to raise minimum wage to livable earnings to stimulate the economy We must act now to provide paid maternal leave beyond three-months We must act now to provide equal-pay for women and men to create healthy families and communities We must act now to provide protection for victims of domesti...