Sister Table Talk

In 1996, The SOFEI Group started in the apartment living room of its current Chief Empowerment Officer (CEO) under the umbrella of Virtuous Enterprises, Inc. The organization’s foundation was spiritually and biblically-based because the CEO discovered the challenges many women faced stemmed from how they viewed themselves and their lack of faith and belief in a Being higher than themselves; not because of limited access to resources. We set our heights to empower women to transform their lives by transforming their minds through biblically-based fellowships and our quarterly newsletter - Inspirational Expressions. As we evolved, we realized we lost focus on our spiritual core. What was true at our origin stands true today; women cannot achieve or be their greatest without knowing their true power. Unfortunately, this power has been decreased to sexuality and looks, and this power isn’t sustainable like our innate power during seasonal challenges. Oprah Winfrey states, “Everyo...

Fret not thyself because of evil men, neither be thou envious at the wicked. – Psalm 24:19 Fretting is energy that can leave you stagnant. Quite frankly, it’s wasted energy. Whether your co-worker gets your dream job without much effort, a friend with a promiscuous past gets married during your season of singleness, a surprise break-up, or a family member moves into their luxury abode while you struggle to pay rent, envy will leave you powerless. The hurt or disappointment does not entitle you to live a life looking through the lens of anger, rage, or worry. It does give you an opportunity to learn how to accept and deal with the growing prevalence of evil, ill-treatment, and personal deficiencies. Critic Samuel Johnson advised, "He who has so little knowledge of human nature to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief which he purposes to remove." Thinking, talking, and hoarding en...

God instructed The Prophet Elijah to travel to Zarephath (a city of Sidon) and dwell with a poor widow to escape drought and a grievous famine in Israel. When Elijah arrived in the city, he saw a widow woman gathering sticks and he asked her, “Please bring me a little water in a cup that I may drink.” And while she was going to get the water, he asked her to bring him a morsel of bread. Her response, “As the Lord your God lives, I do not have bread, only a handful of flour in a bin and little oil in a jar; and see, I am gathering a couple of sticks that I may go in and prepare for myself and my son, that we may eat it, and die.” Elijah’s response, “Do not fear; go and do as you have said, but make me a small cake from it first, and bring it to me; and afterward make some for yourself and your son. For thus says the LORD God of Israel: ‘The bin of flour shall not be used up, nor shall the jar of oil run dry, until the day the LORD sends rain on the earth.’” The poor widow woma...

Clarity – Get clear on who you want to become and what you want to achieve. Completion – What will be the positive or negative result if you achieve or don’t achieve your desired outcome? Confide – Tell at least one person that will hold you accountable to creating change in your life. Commitment – Create a plan and system to be steadfast and unmovable. Chase – Pursue only your dreams; not the dreams of others. Control – Take control of the forces (e.g., habits, people, or substances) that can create barriers to achieving your inner-most desires. Confidence – You have everything within you to succeed. Do not base your success on external conditions. Condition – We are what we think. Defeated thoughts will lead to a defeated life. Train your mind to win. Courage – Be audacious and create your own path for success. Contentment – Be satisfied with what you have and don’t compare yourself to others. Character – Who are you or who will you become as a result of you reaching y...

"I only take classes my job pays for." "If my company wants me to stay, they should pay for my training." "As soon as I get my MBA, I’m out of here!" "I only enroll in workshops or classes that are free." If your company pays for training, who’s investing in your professional development, you or your company? If your company pays, what do they get in return? If you pay, what’s the ROI (Return on Investment) for your growth and development? Imagine hiring a contracting company that specializes in home renovations showing up at your doorstep without the skills, tools, or resources to perform the job. Would you pay for the training and resources the contracting company needs to complete the job? Or, would you hire another contracting company equipped with resources and expertise to meet your requirements and deadline to renovate? Corporations are discovering better ways to yield returns on their resources and investments. And unfortun...

‘The greatest tragedy in life is not death, but a life without a purpose.” – Dr. Myles Munroe On Sunday, November 9, Dr. Myles Munroe, a leader, prominent pastor, and author expressed his concern about the next generation of leaders not passing on the legacy of leadership. He described this as – a person dying with their baton. And if someone wanted that baton, they would have to pry it from the hands of the person who was dead. Exodus 32:9 states, I have seen these people, and indeed they are a stiff-necked people! This verse signifies the depiction of people with hardened hearts and ears who are unwilling to listen or heed to the voice of God. Pride is the culprit of a stiff-necked generation, and this generational type implies growing from the strength of pride. Individuals who are unwilling to learn are not willing to lead. And, they should not question or complain about the demise of their communities or society? God did not create humanity to receive and keep but to r...

In 1980, Mary Catherine Swanson (an English teacher) created AVID - a program designed to help underrepresented students succeed in high school and college. The program's philosophy is: "Hold students accountable to the highest standards, provide academic and social support, and they will rise to the challenge." A group of AVID middle school students completed their assignments fifteen minutes early and wanted to watch YouTube videos which were unrelated to AVID. When asked to turn off their videos, a student responded with: "My mom watches YouTube videos all the time at work, so why can't we watch them at school?" What legacy are we leaving our children in reference to work, finances, or service? Students need role models to coincide with their lessons to advance academically, socially, or economically. And their parents should be their first point of reference. The industrialized workforce is depleting and individuals that choose to watch YouTube ...

A survey from Eventbrite found that 78% of Generation Y respondents would rather spend money on an experience than a thing, and 77% say their best memories come from experiences. In addition, 72% of millennials shared they would like to increase their spending on experiences, and 69% say that their experiences make them feel more connected to their communities, other people, and the world. In 1998, B. Joseph Pine II and James H. Gilmore published an article - The Experience Economy . In this article, they state businesses must orchestrate memorable events for their customers, and that memory (i.e., experience) itself becomes the product. Savvy businesses use this model and charge for the value of their "experience" product because they know if they create experiences that are exciting and transcendent, they can build a community of fans that will rave about their 'experience.' Jesus Christ created a community of raving fans because He always gave people wha...

Two homeless women contacted The SOFEI Group for housing assistance after eviction from an area shelter. Housing homeless women and their families is not part of our mission; however, we sought assistance (temporary housing, food, and pampers) from area organizations, churches, and people on their behalf. Following are responses to our request: Why were they evicted? Are they tithing members of a church? They must be irresponsible women to be evicted from a shelter. Why can't they move to another shelter? I don't believe in giving my money to people that don't want to help themselves. Why can't they go and stay with relatives? All responses were valid and The SOFEI Group decided to provide temporary housing and food for these women because they were wandering the street with their children in tote. And, it was discovered their eviction wasn't a result of their carelessness, but their refusal to attend substance abuse (alcohol or drugs) counseling sessions manda...

Right into doing something we’ve never done before – host a Zumbathon® Charity Event! Since we’ve been out of the lime-light, we thought hosting a Zumbathon® would be a fun way to reconnect with friends and supporters, and make new ones. We’ve supported Zumbathon® events to benefit heart disease and ovarian cancer. And one-year later we’re hosting our own to benefit women experiencing poverty in the Washington region. The Zumba® Corporate Office approved our Zumbathon® Charity Event within two-hours of submission - a process that normally takes two-business days, and within four-weeks, only 10% of our desired participants have registered. Lesson learned, we’re doing something we’ve never done before and its success can’t be measured solely on who showed up; but, on our commitment to work and move the weight of poverty off the shoulders of women who live with it daily right in our backyard. Not achieving the desired results from this plunge will not stop us from doing it agai...

What would the world look like without women? Take a few minutes to ponder this thought. What did you come up with? Women who are abused, neglected, or subjected to sexism, are invisible. And, women weren’t created to be second-class citizens to men, but equally to build a fruitful and noble world for all humanity to enjoy. Subjection of women can stem from pride and ignorance. It’s ignorance when people don’t know the reason for women’s existence; pride when people are self-serving and would do anything to fulfill their wants and needs. If women want to strengthen their presence and voice in society, they should: Discover their purpose and not allow people or external circumstances deter them from their destined path. Live according to their uniqueness and convictions; not societal norms. Know their rights as a citizen and in the workplace and hold people accountable who inflict harm to them. Increase and stabilize their self- and net-worth to create personal and financial st...

My parents raised me different. My parents told me, "Make sure you can take care of yourself," and I do. These women need to stop lying on their backs, making babies they can’t take care of. I’m not giving my money to support lazy women that don’t want to work. These statements are from single mothers who were approached by The SOFEI Group to help us achieve our mission of empowering women to economic independence. The single mothers were divorced, widowed, and a sole parent with a strong support system. What’s interesting is how proud they were to share their distinction without knowledge of our current and prospective clients. It will be impossible for women to thrive as a cohesive unit when we’re moved so swiftly to divide. Why talk about the wage gap between men and women or any other gaps that supposedly prevent women from progressing, when women allow social, political, financial, or ethnical differences create wedges? Many women who have experienced or are ...

Following is a list of The SOFEI Group's top ten YouTube videos for motivation, inspiration, and hope: Am I Wrong - Nico & Vince Try - Colbie Caillat Beautiful Flower - India Arie Hear My Call - Jill Scott Golden - Jill Scott Bravo - Ledisi Superwoman - Alicia Keys Just Fine - Mary J. Blige Didn't Know My Own Stength - Whitney Houston Turning Around for Me - Vashawn Mitchell

An elderly woman lost her life in a house fire because she hoarded stuff that didn't add value. Her neighbors recognized how hazardous her house had become and offered assistance to help her clean, to no prevail. Just as the elderly woman collected worthless items, there are many people who gather and hold onto people and things that deplete or bring detriment to their spiritual or emotional well-being. Worthless items like negative thinking, self-denial, stressful living, defeat, deceit, jealousy, fear, anger, covetousness, envy, anxiety, lack of self-control, hatred, low self-worth and self-esteem. When we pray and ask God for deliverance from our trials and tribulations, healing from a broken or wounded heart, or for a financial blessing, He can't deliver when our internal being is cluttered. For example, when a pilot attempts to land a plane, the pilot verifies if the pathway is clear. If it isn't, the pilot goes into a holding pattern. God is like the pilot! ...

Genesis 34 talks about a young virgin woman, named Dinah who “went out to see the daughters of the land” (Genesis 34:1). She was spotted by Shechem - a victim of lust at first sight , who took Dinah and violated her virginity (Genesis 34:2). A Jewel, such as Dinah, was defiled and violated because of Shechem’s strong sexual desire to have her (Genesis 34:3). In Hebrew, the definition of violated or defiled, means to be taken by force (i.e., raped). Shechem’s actions resulted in harm instead of satisfaction because Dinah’s brothers, Levi and Simeon lied, stole, and murdered for revenge. Dinah was a Jewel taken by force, but there are many women (Jewels) who voluntarily place themselves in the hands of Inexperienced Jewelers due to: Soft Spoken Words According to Genesis 34:3, Shechem spake kindly unto the damsel . Women can become prey to soft spoken words if they were raised in negative environments, were victims of verbal, emotional, or physical abuse and never heard or experience...

Growing up as a dark-skinned woman can be difficult. The teasing and caustic remarks can diminish a woman's self-esteem until they discover.... They came from the mind of God. In the secrecy of their mother’s womb, they were fearfully and wonderfully made. To live and fulfill God’s divine purpose and perfect will, with their shape, size, and beautiful skin shade. They are who they are, by God’s grace. They have strength, courage, and perseverance to run and finish their race. Their spirit has been quickened, they are no longer God’s enemy and Satan’s slave. By God’s unconditional love and power, they were raised from the carnal grave. As a chosen, redeemed, and predestined Saint, they know how to behave! Everything God created is good, and we were created to bring glory and honor to Him (Isaiah 43:7). We all have unique features and characteristics to fulfill God’s purpose. Whether we are light or dark, full or small figured, we should not allow ourselves to be vi...

Be responsible for your actions. No one can make you behave the way you do. Be responsible for your thoughts. No one can make you think what you think. Take ownership of your feelings. No one can make you feel good or bad. Be responsible for your life. No one can make you have a fulfilled or dreadful life. Be responsible for your well being. No one can define who you are or your purpose for living. Be responsible for how you are treated. You are treated the way you allow yourself to be treated. Be responsible for how you treat others. No one can make you respect or disrespect him or her. Be responsible for your relationship with God and others. God and no one can make you love them. The choice is ultimately yours.

I weep for Sisters looking For a man that’s so hard to find My sisters try, they trip, they tremble Because the search goes on all the time. I weep for Sisters looking For security in masculine form They’re tossed and thrown by emotions Like a small ship in a big storm. I weep for Sisters looking For a “brother” whom they can respect Not a pretty boy or millionaire Just someone With whom They can connect. I weep for Sisters looking Because of the pain and heartbreak They endure The loneliness that turns to emptiness Will there ever be a cure? I say Yes, Dear Sisters, There is a cure A real cure from my point of view For perhaps wisdom is dictating That you pray and wait, Serve and work Until Mr. Right Finds You! By Evangelist Emanuel Scott, Jr.

If you’re not happy with your job, whose fault is it? Is it your manager’s, co-worker, the economy, your bills, or you? What impact does your hatred have on the people you serve through your job? To show up every day to a job you hate doesn’t benefit anyone but your creditors. Hatred is difficult to hide. It will resonate through your attitude and your work. Staying at a job you hate may seem logical with the high percentage of unemployed and underemployed people. But if you choose to stay, why hate it? Why waste your time and your employer's? It’s challenging to have a servant attitude through hatred. If you’re not willing to serve, you’re not willing to work at your best capacity. Work isn’t solely about us! It’s about service. If we’re filled with hatred about our work, does it mean we’re too full of ourselves? Sure, people can be difficult and challenging, but their actions should not contribute to our hatred. Every day we show up for work, we should know our pu...

A young girl ran to her mother after school and said, "Let’s hurry and get to the car because I don’t want to get a tan." Mother’s response, "Why are you so afraid of getting a tan?" Her daughter’s response, "I’m not, but a girl in my group asked me if I was dark skinned because of the sun?" A portion of Psalm 139:14 states, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are thy works. Humanity was created in the image of God and He has never spoken negatively to Himself or to the people He chose to make an impact throughout the world based on their uniqueness. Our children are our future. Let’s be vigilant of what we feed them – directly or indirectly. Critiquing or teasing people about their looks (especially their hues) is a waste of time. Everything God made is good and was created for His glory. If God can see the beauty, good, and glory in His creation, why can't we?